Al's Adventure: Part Eight (the finale)

Meet Al

Hi folks, my name's Al. I've taken up residence on Alex's travel blog as I made the decision to spend my inheritance on travelling the world for a few months, and I'll document my exploits from time to time as I go. Sometimes I'll be travelling alone, sometimes with friends, and sometimes just crashing at somebody's flat (cough Alex and Lachy cough) - it's going to be interesting, as I'm not one to often leave my comfort zone. My journey starts with a tour of the US, followed by some time in Fiji, a few weeks in Australia, and ends with a brief stint in New Zealand. Let's do this.

Part Eight

Here we are, the final leg of my trip. It's hard to believe that three months have gone by so fast, yet my hair is in dire need of cutting. I've spent twelve days here in New Zealand, and I couldn't have asked for a better place to finish my travels. I've been staying in Queenstown, on the South Island, but not in the classic backpacker style. I've done things in a less conventional sense. My mum's friend Tessa has been hosting me, in her big house above Lake Wakatipu; I seriously got lucky, check out the view.

So what really struck me about what I saw of New Zealand was that every day seemed to be in a totally different kind of environment. The first couple I spent on the hills and beaches around Queenstown, just getting to know the place. It's all so bloody picturesque, you're just constantly having to be like "whaaaat? That's not a postcard, it's the view from my bedroom window." And I got a weird sort of comfort knowing these hills are where the Lord of the Rings was filmed, that I was in Middle Earth. The hill right behind my house was used for all sorts of scenes from the Two Towers, can you believe.

I'd been told by a few people that I couldn't miss the Shotover jet, a superfast jetboat that flies down a canyon river. Everyone's been on it, judging by their wall of fame: Will and Kate, Peter Jackson and half the cast of LOTR, even Ugly Betty... Everyone piles in, the driver introduces himself and what follows is like the fastest fecking half hour of your life. He flies down the river, turning towards boulders and cliff faces at the last minute to scare folk - but heeee knows what he's doing. Also, a lot of 360 turns. Ooh boy, I should go to theme parks more often.

One of the biggest highlights of the trip was Milford Sound. It's not actually a sound, it's a fjord, but who really even knows the difference eh? I won't ramble on about how amazing it is, but let me just say that's it's become one of my favourite places in the world. It's like a set of prehistoric mountains were just flooded by bright blue sea, and penguins and seals came to live there. The drive over as well: mirror lakes, valley floors, ancient rainforests, snow-capped mountains, avalanche debris everywhere, it had it all. We even got to pull over to fill our bottles with glacial stream water - but then some turdburger threw his cigarette stub in and pissed off the bus driver.

It turns out New Zealand is pretty hard to traverse unless you have a car, but thankfully Tessa took it upon herself to show me around. We went out to the edge of civilisation, like the place you can only go in a 4x4, and guess what it was called... Paradise. Yep, I've officially been to paradise. Awful lot of sheep. We also took a ride out to Wanaka and Lake Hawea, and I can say it's the best lake I've ever seen. And I come from the Lake District. It looked like a solid blue platform you could walk on; yet another place you'll have to believe me when I say how amazing it is.

I saw a couple of gold-mining towns, one of which has a fancy little cinema with chandeliers and padded walls. I saw the new Hobbit film there, and there was a video beforehand where the cast thanked New Zealand for having them; the kiwis loved it until Cate Blanchett joked that it wasn't as good as Australia and people got riled up and booed. I sponsored a native tree to be planted at a bird sanctuary to ease my carbon-footprint guilt, I rode a steamboat to see a New Zealand farm and watch sheepdogs herding sheep (like I can't get that at home, eh?), and Tessa took me to the desert to a winery on Mt Difficulty so I could murmur in appreciation of wines I can't fully appreciate. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the wine, it's just my pallet ain't refined.

And so ends my trip. If you've been following this blog then I'll give you a sticker for making it to the end. I've had the most amazing time, seen countless incredible sites, and been hosted by the most generous people. I even managed to make it round the world without eating any meat (apart from the occasional bit of fish when the situation demanded it, and a piece of chicken I was told was fish and then didn't want to waste it after I found out...); and I really do love meat, I'm just aware of its impact on the environment so I thought I'd test myself. I'd also like to thank my grandma for making this trip possible; I'd like to think she'd be happy with how I spent her inheritance because she was a cool lady. Or maybe she wanted me to invest in future technologies and nobody told me. If that's the case, sorry grandma.

Thanks for reading, and thank you Alex for having me on your blog! Now to get home for Christmas and then try and decide what the hell kind of life I want. Because I know I can't be a Billy Joel impersonator, just not feasible.